Free Write 1/15/13

I can't believe another semester has already started. my break was definately not long enough for sure. a lot of things happened over break. my baby turned one 2 days ago and it still doesn't seem real to me. i hate that he has grown so fast but you can't stop them i guess. he is really turning into a little tyrant, but someone had to teach him, but of course that wasn't me. it has to be brett. just kidding it was probably me. he is such a mommy's boy and it makes me feel so special to have someone love me as much as he does. i have had to teach myself tough love here lately because i don't want him to grow up and not have any sense of respect or authority, and it needs to start young. even though i am young i still remember when i used to be the biggest brat in the world and that was because i got away with it. not in this case though. another good thing is we are about to move out of brett's parents house. i love my in laws to death but they definately drive me to drinking for sure. i hate it when they tell me what exactly to do with braxen because i feel like she got her chance to raise two boys herself and now its my turn. i realize that i don't do everything right, and i do take her advice for the most part. but between her and my mother they drive me absolutely crazy! i am exicted to be out on our own and be our own little family. they only thing that i really care about the house is i have to have my own bathroom and the boys can have their own bathroom. when i lived in my apartment brett pretty much stayed with me the entire time, i hated sharing a bathroom with him. the thing that he used to do the most and it made me so mad was every morning he would take his morning dump and he would smoke a cigarette while doing so. if you have never smelt that before it is by far the worst combination of smells i think there ever is. and he would always do it right before i got in the shower too. mind you i was also pregnant so that didn't help the morning sickness at all either. but anywho i'm glad to start the semester with this class, because obviously i have it with my favorite teacher! neuburger! i love that he is really laid back but also expects you to do the work and do it right. i hate the teachers that are on your ass all the time, but i do like to be pushed to success because you can't always do it by yourself. i really thought that i wouldn't even make it past last semester with all the stress on my shoulders but i don't want to quit because if i do then i will keep making up crappy excuses as to why i still haven't gone back. i guess they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and i am not going to give up my dream. i have changed my major which isn't surprising considering i am super indecisive anyways!